So I haven’t posted in the past few days, shame on me. I’ve been not only busy but it would seem that yesterday I managed to get myself sick. Great timing huh? Seeing as I have company all this week. I had to cancel plans for a dinner party tonight which really upset me, but I don’t know if whatever I have is contagious and I would rather not get my friends sick.
So, yesterday I managed to find myself one of the few pieces of furniture I’ve always wanted, a roll-top desk! It was only $15.00 which was a major steal, even though it’s a smaller one. I am in love with it! So I tied it to the roof of my car like I’ve done everything else while moving and made the trek home. Getting it up the stairs was an adventure and being grumpy and sick I was in a fussy mood. Luckily one of the neighbors helped me get it up the stairs when Emily couldn’t and it’s now sitting in my living room full of books, papers and everything a fledgling author needs to pen a wonderful work of insanity.
This morning I leave the house to finish getting the supplies I needed for the dinner party, which I had to cancel. I get to the store (Wal-Mart….I will never shop there again.) and after the fiasco at the self-check out in which the machine when screwy and no one could be bothered to fix it, I walked out leaving my supplies at the counter. When I got into my car and tried to turn the engine over… nothing happened. That’s right. It would seem that my starter decided to stop working on me. Needless to say, I was pissed. I ended up walking the several mile hike home while Emily called the tow truck to have the damned thing towed home. Sadly enough, I beat her home by almost thirty minutes.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve managed to somehow twist my foot or something while walking home in flip-flops, because now the bottom of my right foot has a shooting pain whenever I put pressure on it.
AND, on top of it all today, I had to listen to bass so loud it could be heard from two blocks away and inside my apartment while some frat boys partied. This kept up from 6 or 7 tonight until 10. I’m finding it extremely hard to keep my temper right now.
Emily wants me to go to the ER because of the fact that I’m having a little trouble breathing, but I don’t want to deal with the doctors fusing about me being a transsexual. I would possibly lose it on one of them if I was treated in a disrespectful manner, which would really not be a good thing. I get rather pissy when I get sick, because I rarely get sick at all.
On the plus side of things, I’m beginning to see some effects of the HRT. My facial hair, while still extremely sparse, is more than what I had before. My face is also thinning out some, but like a few other things, that could be because I’m working out. My major “personal” issue that I was having is FINALLY starting to go away. My voice crackles a lot as of lately, and has really started to deepen. I don’t have to work anymore to make my voice passable. If I restrain from getting too over excited my voice doesn’t sound feminine at all.
I haven’t been called anything other than Sir by strangers since the third day of my HRT which, of course, makes me happier than I could ever express.
I haven’t heard from my parents in a while, and while it makes me sad, I know it’s not me, it’s them. They have my phone number and can call when they want…It does hurt, but I’ve realized that I can’t live my life according to how others want me to. I am an adult, and while people don’t agree with my decisions, I hope that they can respect them. If they can’t do that, then I don’t want, nor do I need them in my life.
I suppose that is my biggest bit of advice for anyone thinking about anything that other people are against, like transitioning. It’s your life, you are going to have to live with yourself everyday for the rest of your life. If it makes you happy, or makes you feel whole, then do it. Don’t put your life on hold for people that refuse to respect your decisions as an adult. In the end, it will just make you miserable, not them.
In other news, having my soon-to-be mother-in-law around is really nice. We’ve all been having a wonderful time, and we have been able to show her some of the beautiful areas here in Northwest Arkansas, such as Devil’s Den. Tomorrow we are going to drive up to Eureka Springs and show her that area. She had been amazed at the beauty here, just like we were when we first moved here.
It’s a nice feeling to finally find a place that we can not only call home, but also feels like home. It’s wonderful finally making friends and actually living life rather than hiding away all the time.
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